I am a free-spirited creator, event-organizer, writer, speaker, consultant, and gong lover — passionately inspired by expanded states of consciousness, alchemy, healthy empowerment, harmonious dynamics, natural wellness, and community-building.
Links to my work and projects
I have several years experience participating in and leading Authentic Relating workshops around the world with different organizations, including teacher-trainings with Solsara and Authentic Relating Training International. I am certified by the National Peace Academy (Peacebuilding Peacelearning Intensive).
I completed the Advanced Gong Sound Healing Certification Training through the International Gong Yoga Association in July 2022, under Gong Master Yogi Mehtab Benton, and have two magnificent gongs.
I have also been a trip-sitter/facilitator, writer, and public speaker for psychedelic harm reduction since 2014.
I am the founder of Phoenyx Enterprising; Soundscape Navigator at "For the Love of Gong;" event organizer for Happier Portland, Relationship Anarchy Portland, Authentic Portland, and LoveHub Meetup groups;
and author of "The Tripper's Guide to an Awesome Ride", "The Roller's Guide to an Awesome Ride", and "Liberating Love," an in-progress book exploring the art, science, philosophy, and practice of sovereign relating (inclusive self-care that fosters conscious, authentic, empowered, and healing relationships).
My formal education background (BA/MA) is in International Studies, Global Economic Systems, International Business, Sustainable Business Practices, and the Fair Trade movement.
I AM PHOENYX – a name I chose to be called by to remind me not to fear change, destruction, and death.
I AM CURIOUS, a perpetual student, a global explorer, an insatiable knowledge sponge. I am open-minded, nerdy, inquisitive, and reflective. I love transformational festivals and retreats. I think critically and outside the box. I take notes on almost every book I read. I love language, math, history, science, sociology, psychology, and geography. I am a maven / philomath, fascinated by learning and wisdom for its own sake.
I AM LEARNING, presently, more about Tantra, hypnotherapy, HeartMath, breathwork, "Positive Intelligence / PQ," the nature of addiction, conscious uncoupling, boundaries, trauma, sacred kink, and shibari.
I LIVE SIMPLY. I attempt to tread lightly. I don’t own many things. I enjoy thrifting. The most valuable possessions I have are my gongs (which I consider to be a lifetime supply of daily medicine). I love to forage, climb, kayak, and paddleboard, and sleep in my hammock under the stars. I stop to smell roses, pet cats, and take and share photos of interesting things.
I AM A LOVER OF LIBERATING LOVE. I am a relationship geek / scientist / artist - ever exploring how to do human relationships better, for myself and for others. I love many, in as many different ways. I am heart-led. I am kind. I care. I am sensitive and trauma-informed. I am, however, flawed and learning as I go – often the hard way. Authentic Relating has been one of the most rewarding and healing arenas I’ve trained in. I have grown to become a compersionate, sex-positive, erotically-liberated, heteroflexible, ethically non-monogamous, solo-polyamorous relationship anarchist. I am a coach, have led dozens of workshops, and am writing a book on the subject.
I AM A PSYCHONAUT, an adventurer of many realms and dimensions. I advocate for the safe, therapeutic use of psychedelics, and have devoted a lot of energy to harm reduction efforts and education.
I AM A VISIONARY, a Renaissance woman, a philosopher. I’m a dreamer and a realist, a rational idealist. I’m a shadow-worker and an optimist. In everything I do, I am an artist. I believe in wabi-sabi, pronoia, and pantheism. I advocate for the kind of leadership that is about setting examples for each other, pioneering new ideas, blazing trails, and inspiring others toward self-empowerment, rather than “power-over,” authoritarian, hierarchical structures.
I AM INTENSE, although outwardly calm. I want all the toppings, please. I want to visit every country, to read all the books, to reach the heights of passion, ecstasy, and awe, and the deepest connection, intimacy, and bass! I’m a perpetual seeker of novelty. I surround myself with vibrant colors, sparkles, affirmations, and art. I have a gluttonous hedonist side, balanced with the ethical pursuit of holistic wellbeing. I want to squeeze every last drop of possible goodness out of this life.
I AM A SURVIVOR of early abandonment and neglect trauma, multiple car accidents, multiple surgeries, electrocution, rape (and pregnancy and abortion resulting from it), violent abuse, life-threatening betrayal, narcissistic / psychological abuse, and Stockholm Syndrome. I was stranded in India, unexpectedly, for 15 months during COVID lockdowns, which was profoundly challenging. I still have emotional and physiological triggers from these experiences which are sometimes difficult to work through.
I AM IMPERFECT. I am recovering from myriad symptoms of Complex PTSD. Discipline and punctuality are difficult for me. Sometimes, I need a lot of time alone to recharge. I am intimidated by anger, confrontation, and violence. I am a recovering people-pleaser / codependent. I struggle with rejection. I have a strong inner rebel that doesn’t always serve me. I suffer from perfectionism and performance anxiety. I frequently heap too much onto my plate. I’m insecure about my body, my “too-much-ness,” and my “not-enough-ness.”
I AM HEALING. I have an amazing therapist. I am health-conscious, active, and learning how to manage stress and “just be” more. I’m learning how to hold better boundaries, for my own sake as well as the good of my relationships. This is a difficult and confusing process. I am learning how to rest, but struggle with impatience and resentment toward my limitations. I regularly practice yoga, get acupuncture, fast, sauna, and rock-climb. I am still figuring out what “the good life” means to me as I move into this next phase of life.
I AM WORTHY [nevertheless] of love, care, respect, consideration, trust, kindness, gentleness, and compassion. I am worthy of the simple pleasures that life affords, of great friends, and of my wildest dreams. I’m trying to better understand how to gauge my worth, and the value of what I can offer, in dollar terms.
I AM POWERFUL – I am courageous, adaptable, and intelligent. I am strong and resilient. I have traveled solo all over the world, intentionally pushed my edges, launched multiple entrepreneurial ventures, and survived many intensely traumatic ordeals. I am self-aware, intuitive, a mystic, a diviner, an alchemist, and a manifester. I take responsibility for the creation of my reality.
I AM A GUIDE, a healer, an empath, a teacher, an organizer, a peacebuilder, a harmonizer. I want to help brilliant ideas succeed. I want to see and help people to cooperatively thrive.
I ASPIRE to deeper authenticity, ease, and flow; to wonder and awe, freedom and sovereignty. I aspire to the greatest possible holistic wellbeing; to create helpful, meaningful, beautiful waves; to feel purposeful; to remain open-hearted and strike a healthy balance with self-protection; to feel healed and be a source of healing. I want, more than anything, to love and be loved.
I DREAM of a utopian homestead, with a transformational retreat center where I can hold regular workshops, retreats, parties, classes, ceremonies, dance events, and concerts. I’ll have my own tiny house, and large communal spaces for crafting, feasting, soaking, permaculture gardening and food-foresting; and the wonderful community there will collaborate harmoniously, affording us plenty of leisure time and opportunities to travel.
I AM GRATEFUL for the privileges in my life, which are many, including but not limited to all the loving and supportive people in my life. I do my best to not take them for granted, to pay my blessings forward, and to leverage my privileges for the benefit of others. I don’t always know the best ways to do this. I am open to your reflections.
I AM PHOENYX. I contain multitudes. I am both verb and noun – the universe in ecstatic motion – a humanoid projection of the Absolute – an evolutionary process of unfolding – ever recreating myself from the ashes.